Women often leave their husbands because they feel they are not valued. This has often led to depression and other psychiatric disorders in wives.
One husband, a military man, was shocked when a Psychiatrist recommended that his wife be confined in a mental hospital. He sought counsel from his chaplain on how he could help her, and was told to allow his wife to sit on his lap and share her true feelings about him. This was a difficult assignment to undertake, having been so frequently hurt by the wife’s complaints of his neglect and lack of care of her deepest needs. Yet he had to obey his chaplain.
He carried her gently and tenderly on his laps. He went on to ask her to tell him how she truly felt about him, almost fearful of what would proceed from her caustic mouth. She was still pouring out complaints when the telephone rang. The man felt like a boxer who was saved by the bell, at the point of being completely knocked out. He left to answer the phone and she was angry, knowing that one emergency assignment or the other would make him leave home, thereby ruining her golden opportunity.
Yet something happened not only to dissolve her anger, but also to stop her from breaking down. She overheard a comment her husband made over the phone to his commanding officer.
The man’s commanding officer, as anticipated, wanted him to do an important assignment that night. But contrary to military ethics, he said, “Sir, could someone else take that assignment tonight? I’m in the middle of a very important time with my wife. It’s serious, and I really don’t want to leave her at this point” (Gary Smalley, The Joy of Committed Love, pp.50).
This simple answer changed the whole mental and marital equation in this family. The woman did not need to be admitted in any mental hospital. Neither did she break down anymore. The husband simply gave a little more consideration and value to his wife and thereby delivered his family from depression and possibly divorce. Besides, he enjoyed an added value to his sexual relations that night, something he had actually denied himself unwittingly.
