Miracles are ultimately done by God. But human beings are important agents in the miracle working process. To fold hands and wait for God to intervene to solve your problems is not good enough. You may have to wait forever. And there is no likelihood God will intervene in your situation. He wants to, but you must give him your full cooperation through active participation.
When Jane came to complain about the terrible conditions of her marriage, I asked her what she had done to motivate her husband to change. She said nothing! The husband was an alcoholic, a womanizer and a stingy brute. He was at the verge of abandoning the wife to live with another woman. By the time Jane came to me, he had stopped giving her housekeeping allowance, was no longer eating anything cooked by his wife and refused even to sleep on the same bed with her. Meanwhile Jane was pregnant with their third baby.
Notwithstanding the cruel conditions she was subject to, I encourage Jane not to fold her hands and expect a miracle. First I asked her to repent of her inaction, lethargy and bitterness against her husband. Then I encourage her to initiate little steps of kindness and consideration towards her husband. For instance, she began to wash his clothes and polish his shoe, something she was not doing before. She also bought him a present on his birthday and went on her knees to ask for his forgiveness for her neglect of him. This sounds foolish, given the fact Jane was the more aggrieved person in this marriage.
Three weeks after she began implementing these little steps of kindness, Jane reported a miraculous improvement in her marriage. The husband began to give her money for housekeeping. He move back to sleep with her on the same bed and become generally more amiable. Swindoll says that “Some of the very best things God has to teach His children are learned while working through marital difficulties”. The key word here is “working through”. This demands active participation.
When the wine finished in the marriage in Cana of Galilee, several dramatic personae were involved in restoring it. Mary was an active participant in that she observed the limitation and was kind enough to alert Jesus. Notice that she was only an invited guest. Yet she saw a need and was determined to meet it. May be you don’t have as much a need for a miracle in your family as your neighbor. Notwithstanding, you have a part to play and God will still bless by being a blessing to someone whose marriage is in dire need. You could for instance, send a copy of this book to couples in need of a miracle in their marriage. It will be a worthy service to God.
Notice also that miracle of Cana was not only done by Mary and Jesus. There were servants who had to do the yeoman’s job of arranging the pots, pouring water into them and drawing the water, which eventually turned into wine.
Some people see problems in a family and they do nothing about them. Take for instance those who were at the marriage feast in Cana, but did nothing to restore the exhausted wine, even though they saw the need. The bride and the bridegroom, who probably should have acted before any others, were generally inactive. They seemed oblivious of the problem they were having and its capacity of bringing sadness to their invited guests. How true this is for many husbands and wives who see grave problems in their family but prefer to like the ostrich, which hides its head in the sand when there is danger, as if the problem will automatically disappear by so doing.
There was also the Governor of the feast, whose responsibility was to provide wine and oversee all matters of protocol. He did not even know that there was a problem, not to talk of solving it. When the water that was made wine was taken to him by the servants, “He did not know where the wine came from, but the servants who had brought the water knew” (John 2:9). No wonder he ignorantly called the bridegroom and said to him, “people always serve the best wine first. Later, after the guests have been drinking awhile they serve the cheaper wine. But you have saved the best wine till now”. (John 2:10).
It takes a servant’s heart to actively participate to save a marriage. Only the servants in Cana knew how the water was turned into wine. Only those with a servant-leader’s disposition can see a need in a family and work hard to meet it, so that those who could have suffered loss can enjoy without knowing how the miracle was done.
What have you done as a husband to solve the nagging problems in your family? Are you sitting down as the “Governor” of your home, and waiting for some servant from outer space to come and initiate the action steps to solve your problem? Jesus is ready to help you, but you must work out your salvation with fear and trembling. (1Corinthians 3:9a) says “For we are labourers together with God”. God has a part to play to restore your marriage. You also have a part to play. Do your own part and God will do His own part.
