There are three dimensions of discipline, which every parent must adopt in dealing with children:
1. Counsel with the Mouth
2. Beat with the Cane
3. Reconcile with Your Hands
Don’t call a child names when he or she willfully disobeys your orders. Don’t call him “stupid“. Never say, “foolish child“. The proper thing to say is, “David, you are a good boy. A good boy should not do what you just did.” This manner of response is positive and avoids the pronouncement of curses on the child. It also encourages the child to want to be as good as the parent has affirmed.
Some parents “flog” their children with their mouth. This is unfortunate and contrary to God’s prescribed method of discipline. To say to a child that “he will never amount to anything” merely because he did something wrong is to flog that child with your mouth. This is wrong. Counsel the child with your lips. Tell him that what he did is wrong. Use God’s Word to support your viewpoint. Tell him what the proper conduct should be. Give him the promise of blessings for children who obey their parents. Spank the child with a cane, where his disobedience is willful against clearly defined parental boundaries. Spank the child hard, so that it pains him enough to recognize the foolishness of his action. But be careful not to inflict physical injury on him. The essence of discipline is not to inflict emotional of physical wounds. It is to correct behaviour and bring reconciliation.
This is where reconciliation with your hands becomes important. Learn to embrace and soothe your child after spanking him. Never allow for emotional separation between you and the child or between the child and God. Such separation can be avoided where you embrace and kiss the child immediately after disciplining him. Some children run away from their parents because of the physical and verbal abuses inflicted on them. Does your child run to embrace you, or does he run to hide when he learns of your return from work? If the latter is the case, then you will need to work hard to gain back the love and trust of your child.
Culled From: HOW TO BEAT YOUR CHILDREN BY DR. STEVE OGAN
