Some men are saved but their bank accounts are not. They believe in serving the Lord as long as their pockets are exempted.
This becomes a bigger problem when this attitude is carried into marriage. Some men may be married but do not believe that their wives have any claim to their wealth. Agnes married such a man. Though he had a good job, the family was perpetually in need of basic things such as food and clothing. Two of the children stayed home for two months because their school fees had not been paid. The situation was compounded by the fact that Agnes was a typical housewife without an income or savings of her own.
Money was always the major source of conflict in their marriage. Bitter words were exchanged by both parties. Agnes was portrayed as ”frivolous” in her demands. Her husband felt that she was a bad manager of resources. He even insinuated that she was a thief. ‘‘I will not be surprised if you are banking my money in your village,” he accused her. ”You skin flint,” Agnes flung back at him. ”Do you have any money? If you count the “chicken feed” you give me for housekeeping as money, then you are mistaken. Go and find out what your fellow men give their wives every month.” Such tirades were a daily occurrence.
One woman took a bitter swipe at her stingy husband during a similar confrontation. She told him that he was “worse than an infidel“.
True, the Bible teaches that ”…. if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel” (1 Timothy 5:8). But this should not warrant you to call your husband ”an infidel”, even if he is one.
You cannot get much out of a stingy man through insults. You will end up being the loser and so will your children. No matter how difficult the financial situation may be, learn to appreciate your husband for the few occasions he gives you money, even if this is small, be thankful.
Above all, ”Let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which you are called in one body…” (Col. 3:15a). Fear and anxiety will lead you into more and more conflicts with your husband. This is not God’s will.
Get Something Doing
Men love women who are financially independent, but not completely independent of them. Most husbands want their wives to assist them in meeting the material needs of the home. Such women do not only have better self-esteem, they are also more respected by their husbands. Indeed, to completely depend on your husband for everything, including basic things like money for sanitary pads is not a healthy practice.
The man may not complain initially, especially when all is well. But more and more tension mounts in him as the economic crunch and inflation begin to bite. He becomes grumpy and may one day verbalize his resentment. This situation is usually compounded by the fact that most men are totally ignorant of the rate of inflation in the market place. Their idea of weekly allowances are usually not enough provisions from their wives’ point of view.
This is why every woman should get something doing to supplement the husband’s income, especially, when this is not enough. The virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 did not entirely depend on her husband. This was probably why ”the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. She did him good and not evil all the days of her life” (Prov. 31:11-12).
“She seeketh wool and flax and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchant’s ship; she bringeth her food from afar … She considereth a field and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard” (Proverbs 31:13-14, 16).
She was so diligent that her husband was ”known in the gates when he sitteth among the elders of the land” (v23). He was not known by his name but as ‘the husband of the virtuous woman”. You too can get your husband to be known by your name due to your hard work. Instead of being known simply as James, he can be called ”the husband of diligent Kate”.
